Bikesafe - police etc

Well

At the NEC Bike Show I decided to sign up for a 1 x day Bikesafe thingy with West Mercia Police.

It's tomorrow!

I am ... nervous?!

Actually yes I am!

I feel like I'm waiting to go into the hall to sit an O level

I've been riding for 30 years and although I am confident on my todski I stand before plod as a nervous knock kneed learner!

How feckin weird is that?

I have abs no idea what the format of the day is other than "be there at 0830hrs. Don't expect lunch ... and bring all your docs"

Out of paranoia I have just swapped my tail-tidy + 8" x 6" plate for the mongy 9" x 7" original + reflector incase I fall foul of "all bikes must be road legal ... non legal bikes will be turned away"

I have checked and re-checked my licence, insurance and MOT ... although plod can do this while sat in a lay-by reading Nuts and flicking one off as you go past at a gerzillion mph?

I will NOT be wearing de-regeur urban cams ... twill be leather all the way.

Iridium visor? I think not!

What do I hope to learn?

****** if I know really!

If I am asked cunty green cross and highway code quessys .. I will look a **** "Oooooo Mr T, did you know there have been 400 alterations since 1986?"

"Ooooo Mr T what is the stoppy distance on a Fizzy at 20mph in the rain?"

"Soz ... can we play tag now?"

I really ought to have genned up on wtf the day entails ... but I am going in dry ..... no lube at all.

Watch this space!

garry said:

but yeh.. yr done reet gettin shut o the cams..

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******* expensive and uber safe gardening keks!

ok .. report

18 students split into 3 groups

3 x sessions rotated so all doing "something" all the time

My group ... 0930 - 1100 hrs = me + 1 x other student with a police copper for the assessed ride of 4o mins each through the traffic and wonders of Oldbury, Edgbaston and Solihull.

Me fist .. with Mohammed the cop behind followed by the other student

Bloody close to my arse end took some getting used to and also he was (for good reason) all over the place. I look in my right mirror and he's in my left. I look in my left and he's in my right. Fact is even in urban traffic he was ensuring best view at all times. Bit odd because you feel you might get cut up or side swiped .... but it certainly captured the road cos no ****** can get past!

I liked it very much when he nipped infront of me to pull over and bollock a woman driver for hogging the rh lane when she obs had no need or intention to turn right.

"Why'd you pull her over"? I asked when we stopped.

"Because she was an ignorant and inconsiderate driver with no respect for or awareness of motorcyclists"

At the end of my ride he said I was very confident, assured and at one with my machine (see later for opposite) I was marked down on 3 x things

1) Not making enough effort to "capture the road" ...
2) Not dropping it into neutral at lights whenever possible
3) In traffic ... stopping too close to car in front making it impossible for him to reverse or for me to easily go round if he broke down (not happy with that tbh)

Good though and good to follow him following student to observe his observations and "capturing the road" line, including riding right up the middle of a long hatched section with broken whites.

Session 2 = 90 mins of class room. All good and plenty of participtation and discussion on videos etc

Session 3

I had no idea this was gonna happen

Heard of Craig Jones?

A 15 min show in the Police HQ carpark ... wheelies, stoppies, dough-nuts, burn-out ... stunning, utterly stunning. Most extraordinary stunt apart from a 50mph stoppy to end in between the splayed legs of his sitting assistant ... was taking hands of bars of Z1000 shifting right back on the seat and letting it go round and round on full lock and 30' lean with arms crossed. Then shifting body so as to make it go round the other way ... again ... no hands.

We then spent an hour or so practising a slow speed assault course. Tight clock-wise round a cone (full lock plus oppposite lean) slalom, another tight clockwise cone, another slalom ... then a tight counter clock-wise cone ... slalom and exit

Amusingly we were told in no uncertain terms to stay away from the front brake and use only the back. Yea right!

I was **** to start with and really struggeld with leaning the bike right over and hanging off the opposite side to get the maximum lock. I just about got the hang of it ...before the real killer = test #2

Imagine 2 x circles of cones butted up against each other to make a snowman shape (with me?)

Circle 1 = 25 feet diameter with an entrance gate at 6'o'clock. A gate into circle 2 at the snowmans waist. Exit from circle 2 at 11'oclock

Drive into circle 1 ... full left lock with body hanging off rhs. Then at the 8'o'clock mark, shift all body weight off lhs and ride round and round inside circle #1 until told to go through gate into circle 2 ... which is smaller ... and ride round it anti-clockwise.

Men ... I was a ******* disaster.

What with stalling, dabbing and generally not being able to lean and hang off the opposite side I found it impossible to complete.

Mr Jones did it on his Z1000 by locking the front and basically spinng hell out the back wheel to pirouette round #1 ... into #2 and out.

He then did it on a Harley Roadster.

Would I recommend the experience?

Absolutely.

Was it worth it?

Certainly

Will I find a car park and learn to to that tight turn trial bike technique?

Probably

Sorry if that was more than 80 words!

newelly said:

Craig Jones?

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Heard of Craig Jones? For anyone who hasn't ... this am he.

http://www.craigjones.com/movies_photos/movies/new/craig_jones_buell_stunt_practice.html

can't help but wonder if this isn't what made my clutch go awry?!

aka_Gilo said:

Nice one Newsome. I did an advanced riding weekend with the Polis back in the day and they were top blokes (ropey mousetaches excepted). Man they know how to handle a bike.

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I think you'll agree "mousetaches excepted" should read "mousetaches accepted" ... :devious

Check this

Could YOU go round quicker on your T?

Could you even follow the route?

Amazing

****

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2fb_1310759157