Joined Oct 2010
3K Posts | 1+
Fook knows
Joined Oct 2010
3K Posts | 1+
Bristol
You can't call yourself a proper biker until you have:
- Loaded your bike up with so much camping gear and assorted clobber in black bin bags that would look like some kind of deranged two-wheeled bag lady
- Had afore-mentioned baggage fall off on the motorway leading to cars driving over your grundies and rendering them useless
- Got to a campsite , unrolled the tent only to find you have forgotten the poles / pegs / both
- Parked your bike up right next to the tent only for it to keel over on soft ground in the middle of the night and land on the tent / you
- Slept in all your clothes, including leathers, and still been ******* freezing
- Stumbled back to the site off your swede, unzipped the tent to find a random couple copulating. Ooops, wrong tent
- Stumbled back to the site off your swede, spend an hour trying to work out where you left your tent, give up, pass out under a hedge, wake up dazed and confused
- Woken in the night full of beer, unzipped the tent and tried to piss out of it kneeling up, fallen over and pissed all over yourself / sleeping bag / clothes
- Woken to the tent smelling like a diseased rhinoserous has shat in your tent, only to realise it a night's worth of your accumulated farts
- Put a soaking wet tent away, strapped it to your soaking wet bike, and ridden home wet and cold and swearing you'll never camp again. But you do.
- Loaded your bike up with so much camping gear and assorted clobber in black bin bags that would look like some kind of deranged two-wheeled bag lady
- Had afore-mentioned baggage fall off on the motorway leading to cars driving over your grundies and rendering them useless
- Got to a campsite , unrolled the tent only to find you have forgotten the poles / pegs / both
- Parked your bike up right next to the tent only for it to keel over on soft ground in the middle of the night and land on the tent / you
- Slept in all your clothes, including leathers, and still been ******* freezing
- Stumbled back to the site off your swede, unzipped the tent to find a random couple copulating. Ooops, wrong tent
- Stumbled back to the site off your swede, spend an hour trying to work out where you left your tent, give up, pass out under a hedge, wake up dazed and confused
- Woken in the night full of beer, unzipped the tent and tried to piss out of it kneeling up, fallen over and pissed all over yourself / sleeping bag / clothes
- Woken to the tent smelling like a diseased rhinoserous has shat in your tent, only to realise it a night's worth of your accumulated farts
- Put a soaking wet tent away, strapped it to your soaking wet bike, and ridden home wet and cold and swearing you'll never camp again. But you do.
Joined Oct 2010
2K Posts | 3+
Bridgend, S Wales
I think everyone's going to want a room after Gilo's post!
Yes I don't mind sharing. Asked the missus tho earlier and she was thinking about booking a holiday that weekend but I'm in provisionally still. Definitely keen on this as long as I'm in the country :thumbup
Joined Oct 2010
3K Posts | 1+
Fook knows
If I was I'd have laid down under it like a flash
Joined Dec 2008
6K Posts | 84+
Usually at the top of the apple tree.
I wis burstin fir a pish and wis that pished a coudnae get ma fingers to undo the zip, so rather than pish in the tent a got ma chib oot and slashed feck oot aye it.
Brill a thought as a pished as ahv'e never pished afore.
It rained.
Am a fud.
£175 oot the windae in tatters.
Brill a thought as a pished as ahv'e never pished afore.
It rained.
Am a fud.
£175 oot the windae in tatters.
Joined Oct 2010
1K Posts | 0+
midlands
And for non Ghillie members of this fine forum ...
Aldo considers it appropriate and acceptable that we consider it appropriate and acceptable to carry concealed weapons so in the event of full bladderage .... "if I cannae manage tae get the kin zip o'ma feckin tent doon in twa secons fer tae let flee wae a gallon o'heavy based pish on ta the fud in ra the next pitch .... A'll just slash ma tent, but"
Or ... if you cannot manage a zip (patented in 1913 ,,, first invented by a man who got feck all for it in 1851)
Hack and slash your way to ones toilet at any cost and piss wherever you fancy
Joined Dec 2008
6K Posts | 84+
Usually at the top of the apple tree.
Aldo considers it appropriate and acceptable that welly does whit he does when welly camps in the middle of a massive caravan, lodge and cabin *****.
Ma knife I'll cry ma chib.
Ma fish knife will stay at home even if I'm doing a full weekends fishin.
And although yer been and seen and lived it.
Do yer think am a fud that'll rip yer jaw.
Ma knife I'll cry ma chib.
Ma fish knife will stay at home even if I'm doing a full weekends fishin.
And although yer been and seen and lived it.
Do yer think am a fud that'll rip yer jaw.
Joined Jan 2011
336 Posts | 0+
Near Coalville Leicestershire
Well that sounds like a pretty normal weekend away on the bikes to me gilo,,
When i find out whats happening with work i will let you know if i can make it. go me self a new 6 man tunnel tent for the family camping trips, weighs a ton may see if i can squeeze that on the back of the T,
My little boy loves camping and we've been away with him since when he was a few months old (which its why its probably normal to him). I on the other hand didn't get in a tent until I was like in my 30's so find it hard to sleep in them. I've given it a go for the family's sake and when we go away with friends. I have to admit that a full cooked breakfast in the morning outside is the bee's knees but its much easier throwing a load of stuff in the boot of a car than on the back of a bike. I've no travelling kit for the bike as its my lit of fun on weekends which is why I'd prefer to have a room somewhere.
Joined Jun 2011
1K Posts | 2+
Near Welshpool
Ok Guys, I got 5 rooms still available that weekend three of them can be twins there's also my attic with camp beds & floor space for one or two. I just got to clear the dog **** up from there otherwise it's more than adequete.
Camping is still an option for those who like sqidging there toes in cow pats.
Thought I'd mention there's Banger racing down the road that Sunday for those not interested in Llangollen bike show & for those coming from South Wales your route home should be down to Machynlech, over to Llanidloes, Rhayader & onwards. Anybody from the midlands shoud consider. Bridgnorth or Kidderminster, Craven arms, Church Stretton, Welshpool. There's always the Sunhday meet over at Bridgenorth on the way home if yr into that sort of thing.
Camping is still an option for those who like sqidging there toes in cow pats.
Thought I'd mention there's Banger racing down the road that Sunday for those not interested in Llangollen bike show & for those coming from South Wales your route home should be down to Machynlech, over to Llanidloes, Rhayader & onwards. Anybody from the midlands shoud consider. Bridgnorth or Kidderminster, Craven arms, Church Stretton, Welshpool. There's always the Sunhday meet over at Bridgenorth on the way home if yr into that sort of thing.
Joined Jun 2011
1K Posts | 2+
Near Welshpool
I'll do twenty a head including breakfast. Thats better than mates rates but don't tell them. (Not sure if I have any!!)
