Workshop calamities

It would appear most on here like to fault find and fettle their own machines.

Some of us may spanner for a living , some may not, but just want to fiddle to learn.:dunno Whatever the level of expertise we have as an individual I'm sure we have all had " doh " moments.........like the time I changed the oil on my speed triple, only to realise 3 litres of the finest bike oil was in the waste oil tray , and the sump plug was next to my knee on the floor ( tell me you've NEVER done it ,.) . Or the time I was pulling a side stand spring onto the frame of a mates old crosser, only to have the long nose pliers fly off and stab me straight through my f##cking chin :banghead
These are to name only a few ( I won't go into setting the workshop on fire where I used to work. Luckily the fire melted a plastic water main putting the fire out....before it reached the oxy acetaline bottles :doh )

So...come on, don't be shy, get you **** ups posted up.:yes

my usual calamity is shearing bolts :banghead
I have on one occasion lifted the tank when full resulting in about a gallon of juice all over the garage floor :banghead jnr did get worried when I wheeled my bike out and set fire to it may have had something to do with his bike being in the corner of the garage :lol

Someone demonstrated to me a method of removing motor bike tyres from rims once ,
this involved firstly breaking the bead using a garden spade and some bits of wood !!

how hard can this be ??:thumbup

i thought this will save me tenner at least so i thought id have a go , so i set it all up and heaved my 15 st frame onto the spade ,only to bounce of and nearly knock myself out on the large vice on the work bench .

all i succedded in doing was damaging my pride and getting a fookin great lump / briuse on my forehead ..... and still had a 190 firmly seated on its rim .

on hind sight a tenner spent at ats is well worth it . :yes

The biggest and most potentially dangerous one I've experienced was when someone in the shop left a back fire in the oxy/acetylene hoses overnight. Whit a fookin bang that wiz when I opened the valves, it blew the flash back arrestors and regulators off the bottles. Anyhoo the fire brigade were there tae keep the cylinders cool while the flames were shootin aboot 8 foot oot the top of the bottles. The polis had tae shut the road ootside ma shop and because it's right next to the main line oot fae Glasgow Queen Street they stopped the trains fir a couple of hours anall. The wee guy that had come in tae get me tae burn a steel ring fir his wee Hillman Imp had fallen down trying to exit the yard, he wiz on his hands and knees crawling doon the yard so as I passed him I grabbed his belt and carried him doon the yard at full pelt. I'm positive the wee man had **** himself. :yes

It sounds kind of funny noo but it wiznae at the time, suppose it's all in a days work. :no

The wee guy that had come in tae get me tae burn a steel ring fir his wee Hillman Imp had fallen down trying to exit the yard, he wiz on his hands and knees crawling doon the yard so as I passed him I grabbed his belt and carried him doon the yard at full pelt. I'm positive the wee man had **** himself.
:lol :lol

Best calamity I ever saw was in the army when a mate was connecting the batteries in a ferret scout car incorrectly and the sparks set of a mini explosion due to the petrol fumes as he had used It to clean the turret :no blew him straight through the drivers hatch :lol

Yamaha FJ's oil filter covers. You out them on tighten up start engine and the bike pee's on your foot!

My brother, sat on our montessa undoing the fork leg cap with a spanner.... flew off and chinned him..... oh how i lafd !

Like the time I went to change the oil on my Z1B Kawasaki. Looked for the dipstick couldn't find one??? This must be one of those bikes with one of those new site glasses???? To my horror I couldn't find any oil on the glass!!!! Not to worry I'll just put in another 3 L. Oh no!!! What the where is all that smoke coming from??? On closer inspection turns out I've now got 6 L of oil in the bike!!!dooooo