Joined Nov 2009
282 Posts | 0+
In a hoose
Try this one as a new thread. Tell your true but funny stories One morning at the Army training centre in the good old days, pull up a sand bag and swing that lantern, the Corporal walked in and commenced his room inspection. We were all stood by our beds, lockers open and crapping ourselves for what was to come. He looked in to my locker and came across my Black Watch tartan trousers. He asked if these were mine and I said yes. He pulled them out and threw them on the floor, about turned and said "Show parades tonight, wearing those trousers, braces, flip flops and respirator. Show parade was a daily event whereby the Duty Sgt re -inspected the misdemeanours of each squad in a central corridor at 6.30pm
That night, there I stood just as he had ordered me to do so. The Sgt walked in and called the misfits to attention and then proceeded to inspect individuals. When it came to my turn I blurted out number rank and name. He told me to try again without the respirator, which I did.
Then came his response, "re-show tomorrow night showing nipples shaved."
The next night I shaved my nipples, kept the hair as I knew he would ask to see the hair removed. I got dressed and fell in line like the night before. Next to me was a girl who had a bed block. That's blankets and sheets in a smart and tidy block that sits at the headboard of your bed each morning for inspection.
The Sgt must have been peering in through a window and saw that the girl had placed the bed block on the floor. So he came in to the corridor via a rear door. He shouted the parade to attention and screamed "One pace forward march"
We all complied and the girl kicked her bed block all over the place. He came to me, I showed silly dress, nipples shaved the hair and I was told that I had passed. He went to the girl and asked what she was showing, "Bed block correctly made, Sgt."
"No it's not, is it?"
"No" she replied.
He then leaned forward and put his face about 1inch from hers and uttered the immortal words.
"Re show tomorrow night showing bed block and top lip shaved, young lady!"
The whole corridor erupted into fits of laughter.
That night, there I stood just as he had ordered me to do so. The Sgt walked in and called the misfits to attention and then proceeded to inspect individuals. When it came to my turn I blurted out number rank and name. He told me to try again without the respirator, which I did.
Then came his response, "re-show tomorrow night showing nipples shaved."
The next night I shaved my nipples, kept the hair as I knew he would ask to see the hair removed. I got dressed and fell in line like the night before. Next to me was a girl who had a bed block. That's blankets and sheets in a smart and tidy block that sits at the headboard of your bed each morning for inspection.
The Sgt must have been peering in through a window and saw that the girl had placed the bed block on the floor. So he came in to the corridor via a rear door. He shouted the parade to attention and screamed "One pace forward march"
We all complied and the girl kicked her bed block all over the place. He came to me, I showed silly dress, nipples shaved the hair and I was told that I had passed. He went to the girl and asked what she was showing, "Bed block correctly made, Sgt."
"No it's not, is it?"
"No" she replied.
He then leaned forward and put his face about 1inch from hers and uttered the immortal words.
"Re show tomorrow night showing bed block and top lip shaved, young lady!"
The whole corridor erupted into fits of laughter.
